Commander Carn

Mechavax Short Story #3

Commander Carn

Loose until proven grippy.

That was the first things the new generation of Mechavax pilots saw when they entered the classroom. The message was written in big bold letters in the hologram behind a female figure.

“Attention!” the petty officer yelled. All the pilots snapped to attention, being observed carefully by the woman in the front.

“At ease,” she said. “And take your seats.”

The pilots relaxed and found their seats. Once the shuffling and the commotion subsided, the woman started speaking.

“I am Commander Ricarnia, but everyone calls me Commander Carn. You have just completed your basic pilot training and now it is time for more advanced stuff. Welcome to Strategy and Tactics.”

“Ser, we were under the impression that we will be lectured by captains or higher-ranking officers from now on,” a bold pilot in the front row said.

“You are right, that was the plan,” said Carn. “However, the command failed to find a master of strategy and tactics that would have more successful missions and kills than me,” she continued. “So, here we are,” she added.

“Our job today is to drill one sentence into your minds,” she continued.

Loose until proven grippy.

“Did you learn how to ride a bicycle on a clunky bike, possibly with your siblings trying to make you hurt yourself?

All the bike parts were loose until proven grippy.

Did you ever drive a classic car from the 20th century?

All the bolts and electrical connections are loose until proven grippy.

Were you ever excited about finally discovering what could happen under the sheets with that fit pilot from the other squad?” she asked, making a lewd gesture and doing a suggestive pose.

The classroom fell silent out of shock for a moment and was then immediately filled by rowdy laughter.

Carn smiled at that and said: “In the Mechavax corps, we learn to blow off some steam when we are able. Some vigorous physical activity before a mission helps keep a clear head.”

As the pilots looked at each other with knowing smiles, Carn continued with a serious tone: “However, we are not here to discuss the mating habits of Mechavax pilots. Read the words on the hologram and remember them. I have built my entire career based on this single principle.

The enemy’s defenses are always loose until proven grippy. That means that they can be penetrated until proven otherwise. Our job is to teach you to find kinks in the enemy’s armor and probe for weaknesses at all times.

You will strike when not expected. You will be relentless. You will be vicious. You will be victorious.

But at all times, remember:

Loose until proven grippy.

Make me proud, pilots.

Dismissed.”